Kari, a commenter on my last post, pointed out the following:
I think... communication is more important to girls in general. It's who we are and how God made us. I can send out an email to a good girl friend and then one to a good guy friend and it will take the girl friend a day or two to respond whereas the guy may take about 2 weeks to respond. Keeping in touch is just not as important to most guys. Not that guys don't want to respond, they just don't give it the high importance that we females do...please let me know if I am wrong guys. But for us girls it means everything....if you're not communicating through blogs, emails, IM'ing, phone, in person then there is no friendship.And while commenting on a blog doesn't necessarily equate to friendship...it is a form of communication, which is probably the most vital part of a friendship/relationship for females.My response was so long I decided to make this whole post about it. Basically, I've noticed in my life that often, females seem to be more relationship-oriented whereas males seem to be more task-oriented. In other words, girls often tend to be more "in touch with their emotions" and value friends whereas guys are often out trying to accomplish some kind of specific task, not usually as concerned with keeping old friends close.
This leads to men more effectively interacting when they are
in-person or in actual physical closeness, rather than through alternate communications. This argument is horribly difficult to defend, because there are several cases of men who are good at keeping up letter-writing, emails, phone calls, chats, etc. In fact, I consider myself to be one of those men. However, I know that I have a harder time keeping in touch with my guy friends than I do with female friends. Other than
Scott, the only responses I'm able to get from guy friends are usually when we're actually hanging out. I have a friend here at seminary that I never see, and that never answers his phone when I call, but whenever he runs into me, he invites me to go hang out with him.
Please keep in mind that I realize that my understanding includes a broad stereotype, and is NOT the absolute standard for human relations. I personally think that this stereotypical understanding comes from the fact that our society tells us growing up that as men we are to be "conquerers" and out accomplishing tasks whereas women are taught to value life and relationships more.
I hate blaming things on "society" and hate when people brush problems off to "societal shortcomings," but let me offer you an example of what I'm saying. Last night I was thinking about how i've never been hunting, and that many of my guy friends would make fun of me for that, yet I don't know a lot of girls that go hunting. Therefore, it's as though my masculinity may be called into question, over such a simple thing.
How does all this relate to Kari's comment? Because I think that in a (perhaps ignorant, close-minded) way, it further considers this difference between men and women, this tendency for women to enjoy emailing, talking on the phone, keeping a "diary" and evaluating relationships more, while men are bad at responding to emails, don't like phone conversations, and don't often spend as much time discussing with their guy friends "what it was supposed to mean" when some girl said such and such. I hope that I don't sound like "Mr.Wild-at-heart" and I hope you all realize that I am saying all this from my presuppositions and that I don't believe that this is some absolute standard, I just think it tends to be a trend in gender stereotypes that is fairly accurate, given that there are always exceptions (the very fact that I've devoted already several posts to relationship-oriented topics proves to already weaken my argument).
In fact, I don't believe I've solved
anything, but simply furthered the question. Blaming things on "society" is too weak. I need something more substantial. Readers: can you help me? Are girls more relational/relationship-centered than guys? Why are we guys better at communicating in person than we are on the phone and through emails?
Disclaimer: Please offer arguments that are fully void of attacking anyone's character or person, no matter how violently it attacks their argument itself. Any comments meant to slander another commenter will be removed.