Are there more girls in the blog world?
Someone pointed out on a former comment post that there are quite a bit of girls that comment on my blog. This brought up a question to me: Are there more girls in the blog world, or are my posts and my blog simply just more "female friendly"? Granted, there are a couple posts that I have specifically addressed to female readers, and this was largely because of the fact that I realized that some girls occasionally read my blog. However, I submit to you that it's simply a fact that more females than males are internet savvy.
Here is my defense:
1. At my school, I have many more male than female friends, yet almost none of my male friends have blogs, whereas almost all of my female friends have blogs.
2. The comments on my female blogfriends posts are mostly from females, and the comments on my male blogfriends posts are also mostly from females.
3. The female "buddies" in my buddy list are online throughout the day, but the male buddies are almost never there.
4. Internet dating sites always exploit women in their ads. Why are they so relentlessly targeting men with their ads instead of women? My assumption is that they have enough women enrolled in their services already.
These are just a few arguments. Please note that these are generalizations, and I realize that there are always exceptions to generalizations, but I personally think this describes a majority truth.
Another thought: is the blog world becoming the next meeting grounds for singles? To test this theory, I will post this picture of me and my girlfriend to see if it affects the number of comments on my blog left by girls.Now, this post is up for discussion, and I will be back to respond to comments on a regular basis, but I won't be able to post again for a few days because of my workload. Oh, and add me to your facebook friends group. I just signed up.
PS: For all those who didn't know, YES I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. She's a really sweet girl, she encourages me to be a better Christian, and I know that I'm very blessed to have her in my life. Actually, Scott and Bradley are about the only two people I have told. This weekend when I was in Georgia I had the opportunity to meet her parents, who are really kind and very fun people. I don't normally write about my personal dating life on my blog, but there you have it.
posted by Jonathan @ 12:39 AM
42 Comments:
Nice picture, Jonathan. This was a good personal post. Every now and then the blog world needs to know at least something about the person behind the blog mask.
Do you think more women have their own personal journals or diaries as well? Maybe women are just more likley to get their thoughts out by writing/typing. Maybe they see the blog world as a safe place to express who they are and where they are coming from.
I actually have no idea. We shall see how well your defense holds up.
hmmm... you bring up a good point: this sounds really old fashioned, but I remember as a kid, it was totally normal for a girl to have a "diary", but if a boy had one, he'd have gotten his butt kicked. It just doesn't sound very masculine to be saying "dear diary..."
You have a new girlfriend... Amy has a new boyfriend... What's the world coming to? I guess I'll have to dump Sara and find a new girlfriend, too. Maybe a new boyfriend while I'm at it.
I'm happy for you, J-Man. I just have one word to say to you: Fonze.
Oh, and I did buy Shadow of the Colossus and it rocked my face off. It's one of the best games I've played in years. You have to come play it with me (and Indigo Prophecy as well). Also, did you know that they're coming out with a Mario soccer game for the Gamecube? It comes out Dec. 5. Check it out on gamespot.com. Sorry to comment about videogames on the post about women-folk. I just had to tell you.
I've definitely observed that single girls are more likely to frequent the blogs of single guys, and singly guys more likely to frequent the blogs of single girls. It would be obvious to assume that at least one reason for this is that people do have it in the back of their minds that they could "meet their mate" through this kind of activity.
This is dangerous thinking, though. I'm sure it does happen enough to continue to cause people to think, "Why not me?" Look at our own Guitar Chick Nikki Tatom, and the well-traveled story of Bert, aka J.D. Nikki won a lottery there, but that doesn't make it likely that most, or even a good-sized minority, will.
I'd say that meeting that special someone, or even someone that would be a good date, is no more likely to occur through the internet than on a dance floor or at the bar. Which is to say, you're probably MORE likely to meet an inappropriate person, perhaps even a wacko, that way than not.
But there again, there is always anecdotal evidence -- someone out there who can say, "I met my soul mate at such-and-such bar" that it can make a lonely single think, "There's a good chance it will happen to me that way."
Scooter - Feel free to comment about video games, and for that matter movies, books, and music as well. If it weren't for you, I'd miss out on all kinds of media.
P.S. You're smart to not talk a lot about your persoanl dating life on your blog. But congratulations! She sounds great.
Comments on this post so far(not including myself):
Guys: 5
Girls: 0
(not even one from my girlfriend)
Perhaps my theory is proving true? I will give it more time...
I'm curious though, Bobby, why do you say it's smart to not talk about one's personal life? I have my thoughts, but I'd like to hear yours.
Well...I'm not coming here anymore...No, just kidding, congrats!
haha...i didn't want to skew the tally :)
jonathan and i stumbled upon eachother unintentionally... neither one of us were seeking a significant other. God drew us together pretty uniquely and now we're seeing where God is leading us. its pretty awesome, if you ask me. :) and, of course, jonathan is too.
Yes, I do think there are more girls in the blog world... However, I do like your theory. I wonder if it is true- I hope it is not!! That would be sad if their sole intention was to get 'noticed'.
But, I do have to speak up to those of us girls who don't go 'blog searching' for dates! I think it is an interesting theory... but I sure hope it isn't true!
I don't know... I think that girls tend to have the 'need' to express themselves more. So maybe that is why they blog/comment more often?!
Jonathan-
I don't think this will be a fair poll. In order to have an accurate poll, you should tally up comments from each sex from your past entries. :)
I think the more interesting part of this is you and your girlfriend! Tell us more! How did ya'll meet? How long have ya'll been dating?
Ever since I got engaged, I am on a mission to set people up. It brings me great joy to hear of new couples. I don't know if ya'll are a new couple or not, but since I just found out, it brings me great joy!
"jonathan and i stumbled upon eachother unintentionally... neither one of us were seeking a significant other."
I told you, J-Man. Happens when you're not looking.
Amy, I do agree that many girls need to express themselves more than the average guy. So I'm sure that's part of it.
Jonathan, I would say it's mainly a matter of remembering that a blog ISN'T a diary, or an email communication between close friends. Some people may use it in that way, but the fact is, anyone can access a blog. Anything about myself that I wouldn't want to reveal to strangers, or people whom I have known who have lost my trust for some reason -- let's say people who are gossipers, for instance -- is something that I choose not to write about on my blog.
Some things are fine. For instance, telling the world that you have a special someone, and that this someone is wonderful -- I don't see anything wrong with that. In fact, there's everything right with letting the world, and your sweetie, know how wonderful you think she is.
But, for instance, sometimes I hit that "next blog" button just to see if I find any interesting articles, and every now and then I'll come across a blog, usually written by a girl, that talks about, and even asks about, things like "Why am I alone," "Where are all the White Knights," etc. I feel like saying, "Why don't you stick a sign on your back that says, "Prey on me -- my self-esteem is low and my defenses are down."
That is probably an oversimplification -- plenty of girls, I'm sure, would write columns like that and yet still be too smart/ strong to fall for a cad. But it's still a matter of "Would you tell this stuff to that creepy guy at the end of the bar down the block?" Because he can read your blog just as well as your best buddy can.
Well, for ONE thing, more girls than guys tend to have desk jobs. Which, therefore, gives them easier and more ready access to cyberworld and blogs, etc. At least in my experience and to my limited knowledge.
And I have to say, I KNEW that if you two "J"s weren't already hookin' up, you would be soon. I could tell just from your comments on the blog...! Good times. :)
Bobby - I agree with you - it kinda bothers me when people use their blog as an "e-journal" to talk about their painful innermost feelings and relationships looking for comfort. That's not why I started mine.
Nikki - Me and Jeannine are "newly" in a relationship. How it happened? Blog comments turned into brief theologically-oriented transactions, then emails, then AIM chats, then phone calls, and over the course of the past couple months we've just really hit off an amazing friendship, and we realized that God is leading us into a dating relationship, so we had the "DTR" this weekend in Athens, and then I met her parents to seek approval from her father before we went any further, so now we're dating! And yes, we met through our blogs, though i agree with Bobby that there's always the possibility that someone you meet over the internet might be crazy.
Ok, I really had no idea people were dating from blogs....although I have tried to encourage my dear friend Morgan to go for some of you young seminary men. HA!
I came on blog world with no intention of getting into it or looking for guys or girls. Almost no one I know (except Bonnie and Morgan) have a blog. However, I wanted to start to refine some of my writing for other people to read so that's why I started the blog. It has been great to meet other people online who have a passion for Christ and a love of the written word in many forms..I think it's very encouraging. I haven't really tallied guys v girls but that hasn't really been my intention.
And Scooter, Jonathan never stopped looking..stop spreading that stuff around.
Sara, you and I differ on our understanding of the purpose of asking the father's blessing. Agree to disagree, as Anchorman Ron Burgundy would say.
First of all I'd like to mention that she and I mutually decided that being in a relationship is where we believed we should go. Then, and only after we'd both agreed on it, I asked her father. Why did I ask her father? Well, because she is still "dependent" upon him for support. However, because she is over 18 I do not technically need his permission, but I did seek his approval because he knows her best, and after having talked to me for a while he'd have known if there were any immediate red flags and could let us know if it were a bad idea.
Were he to not agree, we had already discussed that we would prayerfully consider not dating, because her father trusts her - he has a good relationship with her,and if he honestly thought she was making a bad decision, then that would've been a good reason to not continue, or at least seriously consider the reasons he'd have given for opposing.
I'd like to point out (above) that permission and approval are two different things - and also that even farther above (in the story of how we got together) that I did say that me and J had the DTR first in Athens, and then I sought her father's approval...
Furthermore, she preferred that I talk to her father before we continued.
Typically, feminists have been stereotyped as women who strongly oppose women as homemakers under any circumstance, but Sara, I know that you would say a woman who wants to be a homemaker should very well be allowed to do that, and not forced to work outside the home. Right?
What about a woman who wants men interested in dating her to seek approval from her father? Is she not allowed to have that preference?
Quoting Sara: "what I'm trying to say is does your girlfriend really want to be part of that patriarchal system of oppression or does she just think she does because that's what she's heard at church?"
You keep referring to it as a "patriarchal system of oppression" but some of us do not see it that way. I will add to that question: does she feel that she is valued, respected, cherished, adored, and that her opinions mean the world to me and will influence heavily how I respond? Or is it merely a "patriarchal system of oppression?"
Sara, I will defer these questions to Jeannine so that she can answer them for herself.
whew. this is becoming quite a debate.
Sara: as jonathan has already stated, we already decided that we wanted to pursue a relationship before we met up with my parents. that was a decision independent from my parents. i really appreciate jonathan wanting to talk to my dad. it shows that he not only cares about me, but he cares about my family too. my parents know me well...i think it is wise to seek their opinion on the matter and see if there are, as jonathan put it, "red flags" from their perspective that we might not have been aware of. there is nothing wrong with this. shouldn't advice from our family members be valued?
obviously, i am not my dad's property. i can make my own decisions. but, as a loving father, i know he wants the best for me. there is no such thing as "patriarchal system of oppression" in my household...my dad's approach to fatherhood has been far from that. my church doesn't have a "patriarchal system of oppression" either. i am very appreciative of the fact that jonathan wanted to meet my parents and talk with them. it reflects his mature approach to our relationship.
and one more thing. you asked what we would have done if my dad did not want jonathan to date me? well, as jonathan said, we'd prayerfully consider our relationship and seek God's will. there would have been some kind of legitimate reason for my dad's disapproval, and those reasons would have a good deal of weight in our final decision.
yes...i am 19. the diaper thing isn't really a novel joke...obviously with the age difference, we've already had many discussions and laughs that followed similar lines. :) feel free to throw more out there if you wish.
jonathan: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes :)
*sigh* That's my girl!
Maybe I'm just twitterpated :)
J and J: I think your responses have been excellent. You are starting off on the right foot.
Bradley, I have no clue as to what your point is. The only thing I can think of is that you are equating women to rapists and murderers, but anyway...
People who break the law (rapists, murderers, pedophiles, people in prison) forfeit their basic rights because they've committed crimes. As far as I know, women in general still have (or should have) equal rights as men because they haven't broken any laws as a gender.
If you (or anyone) believe that women should not have the equal rights or priveledges under the law or anywhere else (or that they should be submissive, subservient, or do what you say just because you're a man), you're living in the Stone Ages. I don't mean to offend anyone - well, maybe I do - but I thought we'd progressed as a nation in the last few hundred years.
And, J-Man, even though I don't think it necessary to ask permission or seek approval or anything like that, you can do whatever you wish. And I'm happy for you. I know you've been looking for someone that makes you happy (and that you can make happy in return). I say if you want to be with someone, be with them. If Sara's parents had not "given their approval," I would have told them to go jump because I love her more than anyone or anything else in the world (except for maybe chilidogs... mmmm, chilidogs...).
Going back to Bethany's point -- I think it's usually obvious after awhile what a person's motive is, if they're a regular poster on a blog or a group of related blogs. I don't think I or anyone was implying that all, or even the majority, of single females who post on male's blogs are trying to hook up. What you say is true -- it's great to meet new people and have interesting discussions through blogs.
So, J-Man, when do we get to meet this lovely lady?
You have to get our approval, too, you know.
Bonnie - yeah I'll be moving there soon, and I don't know why dark-haired guys often have blonde girlfriends. I do, however, know quite a few dark haired guys that have told me they would never date a blonde because they think only brunettes are attractive.
And Scott- i don't know if you noticed Bradley's postscript disclaimer on the comment you responded to, but he already clarified that it wasn't his intention to morally equate female and rapist/murderer. Maybe you already did notice that - so I'm not getting in on that anymore. Just trying to save both of your time.
Jonathan & Jeanine,
I have only left one comment on this blog before. I found it from a geat comment Jonathan left on another blog.
Anyway, I think asking for Jeanine's fathers approval is most admiral! Families are extremely important to any relationship because whether we like it or not they are an extension of us. You two have definitely started off on the right foot!
Jeanine, age is only a number! Don't let anyone discredit your relationship just because of your age. You seem spiritually and emotionally older then most 20 somethings!
Best of luck to you two!
tall, dark, and handsome...what can you say?
corrie: thank you :)
I want to say (speaking from experience) that the age thing might actaully be favorable. so congrats!
Mr. Scoot,
Exhibit A: Your Instinctive Behavior as a Proof of Complementarianism
It is interesting to me that often whenever Sarah expresses her opinions and someone addresses them, you seem to always be around to take the counter-response initiative. I would say that's a good thing, and encourage you to always take the initiative as the man in the relationship to protect and provide for your family. It is expedient for me to see that you already seem to have this inclination by the way you seem eager to take up for Sarah. Again, I'm not saying that's a bad thing—it's good! I am complementing you. I think it shows that you (and all other men) have a sense of your unique role as a man. I would say that's part of what Complementarianism is—because in essence Complementarianism is the belief in both the equality of men and women and the beneficial differences between men and women that God designed to complement one another. Thanks for helping me point that out.
Exhibit B: Your Misrepresentation of My Question Due to Ignoring My Qualification
As to the question I asked Sarah, in spite of my approval of the spirit of your response, I still would like to get her to respond to it since it was originally directed to her. I hope she will not respond in such a way that totally ignores the last statement in my previous comment (thanks Jonathan). My disclaimer still stands. I by no means am equating women with rapists, etc. (as you have assumed in spite of my comment). It would make sense that you do not yet know what my point it is—I haven't given that away yet. As of now, I'm just trying to set up the opportunity to make my point by asking the question.
Back to Square One: Restating the Question
Keep in mind, my question is "why SHOULD they loose their rights" not "why DO they loose their rights." Sarah's comments imply that oppression of women is WRONG not just ILLEGAL.
I would agree with that statement as it stands, but her definition of oppression is different than mine--but I guess that's beside the point.
By the way J-Bah.lah, that's a good picture of you and Jayl.neen.ah.
SHEE.TILL.AH.SHOW.TEE.DOE.HAH.HAH.NAHMSAYIN?NAHMNSAIN?
I meen, she.ain.show.beh.she.stilla.showtee
She my boo.
I have never quoted on this blog before and it's not because I am trying to hook up with guys or anything(so the fact that you have a girlfriend doesn't really matter to me...I mean I'm happy for you, that's great). I was directed to this blog by Amy (above) cause I am interested in going to Southern when I get back from Uganda. Plus I like the 'debates' that are brought up on here.
So back to the original topic....I think girls tend to post on your blog and any blog more because communication is more important to girls in general. It's who we are and how God made us. I can send out an email to a good girl friend and then one to a good guy friend and it will take the girl friend a day or two to respond whereas the guy may take about 2 weeks to respond. Keeping in touch is just not as important to most guys. Not that guys don't want to respond, they just don't give it the high importance that we females do...please let me know if I am wrong guys. But for us girls it means everything....if you're not communicating through blogs, emails, IM'ing, phone, in person then there is no friendship.
And while commenting on a blog doesn't necessarily equate to friendship...it is a form of communication which is probably the most vital part of a friendship/relationship for females. And blogging is a way of keeping up with old friends and making new friends in our technological world these days.
Wow, once again I'm amazed at this single seminary matrix that is largely invisible to us old married people. The conversation in the bookstore cracks me up.
The reason Jonathan talked to his girlfriend's parents (at least part of the reason) is the same reason I think that blogdom may actually turn out to be a good way for relationships like theirs to develop.Theres something going on here that moves beyond hormones and impulsiveness - something that recognizes that takes other people and relationships with them seriously.
The blog world allows you to begin to get to know someone, beyond knowing they look "hot" or seem nice. You at least get a glimpse of how they think, what's important to them, what they're interested in, what matters to them. I submit that such things can really help clarify if a particular person is someone you want to begin pursuing that kind of relationship with before you actually do so.
Likewise, when Jonathan talked to her dad, he wanted to be upfront and honorable in his intentions, but also wanted to trust that those who know Jeannie best and love her most think they could be a good match.
Patriarchy? Nah. Wisdom, respect, trust? Yep.
I can't believe I read this whole post and then wrote this long comment!
Communication (or lack thereof) is not a gender issue - that kind of generalizing can be misleading (and even dangerous), like thinking that laziness or stupidity are racial issues.
I am a man and a writer, and, being a writer, communicating is my job... nay, my life.
I've seen both men and women who couldn't communicate. God didn't make women any more capable to communicate than men, just as he didn't make men more capable of "being leaders." I know that most of you who read this blog will turn a deaf ear (or since this is on a computer screen, a blind eye) to what I'm saying because some of you still feel (and correct me if I'm wrong) that men and women have been assigned "roles" by God (i.e. men are the "spiritual leaders" and women are their submissive servants, or whatever you want to call them).
Speaking of communication (or lack thereof)...
I think my question (and the real issue) is getting dodged (as usual).
Well I didn't turn a deaf ear 'Scooter' to your post above. I want to clarify though I never said that women were more capabale of communicating than men, but rather that it seemed from my experience that communication is MORE IMPORTANT to women.
So I guess I can assume that you and Sara 'co-lead' your marriage since you as a man are not more capable of being a leader. So like when there is a big decision to be made and you and Sara can't come an agreement who makes the 'final call' since you are both 'co-leaders'? How is that working out for ya'll? By the way...did you ask her to marry you or did she ask you to marry her? Just wondering cause if you asked her...why did you do that if you are not more capable of being the leader than she is in your relationship? Why didn't you wait for her to ask you?
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