Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Easter Bunny is Dead

Don't you get tired of hearing about alleged "Church Bulletin Bloopers?" Here are a list of some of the bloopers, supposedly, that have been in church bulletins. I honestly think that many if not all of these are made up.

1. The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
2. Miss Charlene Mason, sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
3. The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for pancake breakfast next Sunday morning
4. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
7. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

8. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
9. Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
10. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

Why would a church have someone place an egg on the altar? Are they not aware that the egg is a fertility image that was incorporated into pagan rituals, just as the rabbit is? Our use of them has nothing to do with the resurrection of Christ, but is proof of our syncretistic influence. Having a church Easter egg hunt is one thing, placing an egg on the altar during worship is another thing entirely.


Blogger Baconlover said...

You forgot the typo in the FBC Thomson worship service program that made me and Scott howl with laughter in the middle of the Christmas service. The church had printed all the lyrics to all the songs in the programs so that people didn't have to use hymnals and in the song Silent Night, they printed: "Radiant beans from Thy holy face" instead of "Radiant beams." The hilarious part was that Dirk didn't know the difference and actually sang "radiant beans." The sad part was that about half of the congregation did as well...

Fri Apr 14, 09:17:00 AM  
Blogger Nunzia said...

i totally agree.. what is the pagan origin of the eater bunny, if you know? I know about the egg/fertility god and all that but I was always curious about the bunny.. anyway thanks for your sweet comment. hope you have a great easter!

Fri Apr 14, 10:51:00 AM  
Blogger Jonathan said...

Rabbits are also known for their fertility - you've heard the saying "multiply like rabbits" haven't you? Because of this, ancient pagans often incorporated them as symbols into their rituals and worship ceremonies.

Fri Apr 14, 02:47:00 PM  
Blogger Jeannine said...

that picture is terrible, jonathan.

Mon Apr 17, 08:35:00 PM  
Blogger Jonathan said...

Yeah... terribLY AWESOME!

Mon Apr 17, 11:04:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home